Body Confidence

today I realized i really hate showing my body at the pool. I feel like everyone is staring at me with disgust and it makes me so uncomfortable.

but I want to enjoy going to the pool with my family in summer.

so I was wondering.. how do you feel about yourself at the pool? Are you ashamed of your body, so you avoid it all? Are you more like "Screw 'em," and just wear what you want to wear and have a great time? What about in the middle? Are you willing to have fun, but with coverings over the fattier sides of yourself (i.e. like swim shirts, one-piece swimsuits, etc.)?

I really hate feeling like this. Can anyone share any advice?

T xx

My entire life, I have been plus. I have also hated my body my entire life.

It's taken a toll on my mental health and caused me to spiral intro depression. Weirdly, the pandemic was a positive turning point for me.

Last year, I decided my body is no longer ‘bad’. I’m spending this year embracing it and learning to love and be thankful for it… and to realize that literally no one cares what I wear or how I look.

Sharing because if you're going through a tough time right now or have always hated your body, it doesn't have to be like this. You can live in a fat body and be happy.

Next week I’m going on vacation down south, which is obviously very hot at this time of year. I never wear clothes that show much skin and i'm very self conscious of my legs, cellulite and belly.

I usually wear a lot of sweatpants, leggings and oversized tees as this is what i've always been most comfortable in. I've been plus size for years and don't know what my style is anymore.

Since the weather is hot and humid, I figured I’d have to wear more of summer like clothes but I've never worn a bathing suit or shorts because I really hate my legs and arms. I just want to look comfortable and feel ok, because i'm going with another couple and don't want to be self conscious the whole time.

I like to wear body con. I don't care that I have a VBO and I am learning to feel more comfortable and good in myself. I like the style and don't think I should just wear a sack because I'm not a size 2.

So last week i wore a tight fitting dress. Not 'too tight', just figure hugging and I was feeling myself.

I got to the restaurant and one of my friend said 'i wish i could be that confident to wear that'.

I know she meant well but I just hate that as a compliment. It doesn't feel like a compliment at all, telling me i'm confident.

It's like 'wow you're delusional AF if you think you should be wearing that.'

I didn't say anything.

I then had a different friend say they loved me confidence.

Would they say that to a slim person? I doubt it.

Anyone else feel like this is not a compliment at all?

Hi I've just joined insyze, I'm looking for some ideas on going out outfits , I've put on so much weight during lock down and lost all my confidence, I'm a uk size 22 on top and a 16-18 on bottom, really struggling with what to wear need some inspiration x

I am going on a short vacation with a few of my friends who can basically wear crop tops and have no fupa. They are all coke bottle shaped. I am in between a pear and an apple shape and am the only plus sized one. My bestie (one of the group) really does cheerlead for me but I am still feeling self conscious and low key anxious about the trip. How am I supposed to feel cute when I know good and well I just don't look the same? I am dieting and exercising but the weightloss has been a slow process.

I also just do not know what to wear. I don't want to be completed covered up, but also don't think I'll be comfortable in a bikini around them.

I have this weird problem. When I look in the mirror, I look my size. But when someone takes a photo of me, I look much larger.

Does anyone else get this too? Which is the real one?

Ladies, I just wanted to share with you my reason for deciding to stop dating online. I found that because I was completely secure with my body and how I looked throwing yourself in the world of online dating can be a trigger for lowering your self esteem and maybe even falling into a slight depression.

Most of us know that guys will say some of the most disrespectul things to you without any regard to your feelings. Some will just automatically assume you are desperate because you are fat and so you will sleep with them. These are things that have made me feel low even on days when I was feeling very confident.

So I realized that their were certain things I needed to stay away from while I am on my journey of self love and body confidence.

1. Online Dating - You must have awareness of how awesome you are before you go into the lion's den. If you are still on that journey maybe consider doing meet up groups or other things instead of Bumble, Tinder, etc.

2. Friends - If you have friends that constantly talk negatively abou their body that can also be a trigger. I put in so much work into loving my body one day and then hanging out with friends that completely bash their bodies in front of me put me back into that same mentally that I was trying to get out of.

3. Trying on Clothes - This is almost irrelevant because of Covid but back in the day, I would feel so much shame and embarrassement trying on clothes with other women around me. Coming out of the dressing room in a size 20 while there is a girl in a size 4 right next to me always made me uncomfortable. Not knowing if that girl is thinking how fat I am. I promise you nobody cares that much what the girl in the next dressing room looks like. lol But I thought they did. I decided to just order online and try them on in the privacy of my own home. As the stores start to open back up again, I'm sure I won't feel like that anymore but sometimes it's nice to know what will trigger you and to stay away from it until you are in a healthier place.

So that being said, if anyone is struggling with loving their body, gaining confidence and a low amount of self - esteem I say know your triggers. If you really want to work on yourself, you don't need online dating right now anyways. Work on yourself and when you are in a good place those right ones will find you. And if you ready to date online, than go get it! Just put yourself first!

To inspire me to feel better in my body and for style inspiration. Who do you follow who's plus size and killing it?

I've been struggling this past year to love my body I was always a size 16 but I had a flat tummy since I've become a mum and had to have a c section I have a over hang where my skin stretched and the scar is I often try wearing jeans and then cry because I feel like people will look at me, I want to learn to love my new body and any tips on how to style it now would be greatly appreciated because I usually stay in baggy leggings and jumpers through embarrassment

I was honestly shocked to find out I weigh more than my boyfriend. He is 6'2 and I'm 5'6, so I'm a lot smaller in height too. I always just assumed he would weigh more than me.

It's really made me spiral. has anyone had this?

I have PCOS and dark hair, so it really shows. I have to shave my neck, chin, mustache and middle brow twice a week. My legs are hairy due to my own laziness, but it is also a lot of work to get every single leg hair when I feel forced to. I'm most comfortable with shaving my armpits. What I hate the most is my stomach. It's covered in black hair with a black happy trail so it looks like I have a man's beer gut. I just do not feel attractive at all and it's a constant fight to remove hair all the time. I already have a long history of confidence issues, so I'm wondering if any y'all with the same hairiness found a way to not let it hinder you?

I have done the journey of self love and fat acceptance but I can't seem to accept my belly. Since I have PCOS that's where the majority of my weight goes, I generally like the rest of my body but I constantly want to hide my stomach. It's made finding a personal style very difficult, I only want to wear high waist loose pants and a crop top because that's what I'm comfortable in. It's getting harder to do since I don't have many clothes to begin with and I'm wearing the same things over and over again

I love seeing women with bigger stomachs absolutely slay a tight skirt or dress, I want to be that woman but I'm unsure where to start