How do I make my best friend realize that there a LOT of people who refuse to date fat people
Venting. My best friend is curvy but in a socially acceptable way. I'm talking boobs, hips, no belly. She is a size 14-16. I am a size 22 and there are people who are literally disgusted by my body. I do not find dates easily. I spoke to my friend about this and she refuses to believe that there are so many people who won't date me because they don't find fat people attractive. and the people i find attractive don't date fat people. She keeps saying it's all in my head and talking to her about it makes me feel exhausted. How do I make her see??!!!
Created: almost 2 years ago
almost 2 years
It's really hard to talk with your friends about this kind of thing because OF COURSE she's going to build you up and cheer you on. If she's really your best friend, she loves you and probably genuinely thinks you're beautiful and lovely and desirable. Even if she understands how you feel and what you've experienced, she's not going to want to risk hurting your feelings by validating it, or it's honestly difficult for her to imagine that someone wouldn't want to date you since she obviously thinks highly of you. Try not to judge her because she's "socially accetbaly" curvy. Good friends love you for you (and likewise, you should love and support her back), and that's a really special thing to have. She's not being malicious, even though it can be frustrating to want to explain your experience.
I'm sorry you've had such negative experiences in the past that you say 'there are people who are literally disgusted by my body'. Having been through the abuse myself with an ex, I know what that feels like. It says more about them than you. You don't want to date those people anyway, because they're shallow and low. You are so so above that shit. Your friend is just trying to help you feel better. Sending you lots of love xxxx
There may be some people who don't want to date us, but trust me there are a lot of people who do. You don't need to make her see anything. You just need to do you and work on your happiness.
thanks everyone for your kind words and advice.
Update: I spoke to my friend and apologized for getting mad at her. I know she loves me and wants to make me feel better. I'm deleting dating apps for now.