Welcome to Insyze Chats - a plus size only forum for Insyze users.
Chats are a safe space for you to connect with other people in the Insyze plus size community. Get advice on fashion, beauty, relationships, body confidence and more.
Why Decided To Stop Online Dating
  • Topic: Body Confidence
  • Replies: 5

Ladies, I just wanted to share with you my reason for deciding to stop dating online. I found that because I was completely secure with my body and how I looked throwing yourself in the world of online dating can be a trigger for lowering your self esteem and maybe even falling into a slight depression.

Most of us know that guys will say some of the most disrespectul things to you without any regard to your feelings. Some will just automatically assume you are desperate because you are fat and so you will sleep with them. These are things that have made me feel low even on days when I was feeling very confident.

So I realized that their were certain things I needed to stay away from while I am on my journey of self love and body confidence.

1. Online Dating - You must have awareness of how awesome you are before you go into the lion's den. If you are still on that journey maybe consider doing meet up groups or other things instead of Bumble, Tinder, etc.

2. Friends - If you have friends that constantly talk negatively abou their body that can also be a trigger. I put in so much work into loving my body one day and then hanging out with friends that completely bash their bodies in front of me put me back into that same mentally that I was trying to get out of.

3. Trying on Clothes - This is almost irrelevant because of Covid but back in the day, I would feel so much shame and embarrassement trying on clothes with other women around me. Coming out of the dressing room in a size 20 while there is a girl in a size 4 right next to me always made me uncomfortable. Not knowing if that girl is thinking how fat I am. I promise you nobody cares that much what the girl in the next dressing room looks like. lol But I thought they did. I decided to just order online and try them on in the privacy of my own home. As the stores start to open back up again, I'm sure I won't feel like that anymore but sometimes it's nice to know what will trigger you and to stay away from it until you are in a healthier place.

So that being said, if anyone is struggling with loving their body, gaining confidence and a low amount of self - esteem I say know your triggers. If you really want to work on yourself, you don't need online dating right now anyways. Work on yourself and when you are in a good place those right ones will find you. And if you ready to date online, than go get it! Just put yourself first!

lockdown weight gain and returning to diet culture talk at work
  • Topic: Fat Phobia
  • Replies: 5

After almost 2 years of homeoffice, the company I work for are starting to asking for people to come back into the office at least 3 days a week. I don't mind this balance, as we'll be working the remaining days at home and I think this is good for motivation.

The thing is... I have always been plus size and my whole life I've been the biggest person in the room. At work, I'm the biggest on my team. Although it used to bother me at high school, i've worked on my own body acceptance and self love to the point where I do feel fine with this and it doesn't bother me.

But here's the thing. Because of self isolating for so long and not moving much I have gained a lot of weight. I'm not putting pressure on myself about this and when I am ready I'll work on it but there is something stressing me now... my coworkers.

Don't get me wrong, my coworkers are nice and all, but they tend to talk A LOT about diets, gym, exercise, etc... diet culture overall. I am not a fan of diet culture but I tolerate such topics at work as long as no one attacks me or body shames me. The thing is they keep talking about how much weight they gained with covid on Slack and are already comparing a lot between each other about who got fatter, etc... No one has asked me or directly body shamed me. They also don't force me into the conversation, but they are really talking about it a lot.

I know very well I shouldn't care about what others think but I have a feeling everyone is gonna notice my weight gain and increase the diet/gym talk around me or stare and gossip about my size when we go back to the office next week ... it's silly because I've been working so hard on my confidence and self-love and usually such things don't get to me but suddenly this thought ocurred to me... Maybe I am a bit more sensitive.

I'm just not in the mood to come back to the office and listen to skinny and "average size" people complain all the time about how fat they are now while I stand there awkwardly... makes me feel weird.

It's also made me realize how much I don't miss watercooler diet culture talk. How do I handle this?