Do you ever feel like you're invisible as a fat woman

Hear me out. My whole life I've felt like i've been invisible to people because i'm not conventionally attractive. I don't have a pretty face and i'm big, so most of the time I'm overlooked.

I feel I would have done better in my career if I was slimmer. I also noticed after recent weight loss that people smile at me more, whereas before I would have people give me a wide bearth like fatness is contagious.

I want to accept my body and myself, but does that also mean I need to accept being invisble in society?

Can anyone relate?

Created: 4 months ago
justkeepswimming
4 months

I've been overweight all my life, and I can tell you this: I feel both invisible and hyper visible.

Invisible because my weight has affected my life, my relationships and people treat me like i'm worthless.

Hyper visible because wherever I go feel like I wanna hide, like everyone's secretly pointing their finger at me. It's, in one word, exhausting.

anyaaza
4 months

THIS. I am either overly visibile (people have yelled at me for eating before) or completely invisible - like when i'm on a night out with friends.

My skinnier friends get all the attention. Which, by the way is not always a good thing...

carissaloves OP
4 months

thank you for hearing me.

Have either of you ever felt held back by work?

I definitely don't want all the wrong attention, I just wish I wasn't spoken over and ignored. I can literally make a suggestion for how to do something, be ignored, and then have someone else do the same thing and receive the praise.

I believe it's mostly because I'm a woman, but also because I'm not a stereotypical "hot girl".

angelikah
4 months

Fat discrimination is one of the few types of discrimination that still seems socially acceptable especially towards women, so I feel like I have to over compensate by having a big personality and work harder to make friends (romantic or otherwise). I don't feel invisible, judged sometimes, definitely...

miriam98
4 months

Yes I can relate.

mommyandhousewife
4 months

I have bad social anxiety so I like the lack of attention. My size hasn't stopped me from doing what I want to do in life and I'm pretty happy with the way things are generally.

feelingcute
4 months

I get bad social anxiety too @mommyandhousewife. I also feel like i'd rather just be invisible than have people stare at me, which I always feel happens.

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