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Hairy women.. how do you get your confidence?

I have PCOS and dark hair, so it really shows. I have to shave my neck, chin, mustache and middle brow twice a week. My legs are hairy due to my own laziness, but it is also a lot of work to get every single leg hair when I feel forced to. I'm most comfortable with shaving my armpits. What I hate the most is my stomach. It's covered in black hair with a black happy trail so it looks like I have a man's beer gut. I just do not feel attractive at all and it's a constant fight to remove hair all the time.
I already have a long history of confidence issues, so I'm wondering if any y'all with the same hairiness found a way to not let it hinder you?

Created: about 2 years ago
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about 2 years

I don't have PCOS but I am very hairy and gained a lot of weight recently, so my belly overhangs. I have days where I don't feel attractive at all and many other days where i'm either neutral or actually feel cute.
I think researching how difficult, time consuming and expensive it would be to remove all the hair all the time really put things into perspective. Yes, I could spend lots of money going through painful hair removal sessions in the hopes that maybe it would cure some of my body insecurity. But I could also slowly learn to live with the hair I’ve got, and use that money to take a nice trip or save for the future. Since then, I’ve been pretty relaxed about body hair. I only remove my facial hair as an aesthetic preference and my lower legs because hairy legs are overstimulating for me. I’ve found I can still be hygienic and comfortable not shaving my pits, bits, and everything in between. And knowing that I’ll always have the option of permanent hair removal, should I choose it, keeps me from stressing too much about my body hair— but honestly I rarely even think about it now.

I also think it’s totally normal to have days where you feel bad about your body hair or any other part of your appearance. On those days, I let myself feel bad. I might wear a long sleeve shirt to cover my arm hair.. But I’m usually back to feeling neutral about whatever was bumming me out within a couple of days. It’s taken some time and work to get here, but it’s possible.

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about 2 years

I'm in the same boat. I don't have any advice on confidence with it, especially as i'm currently saving up for electrolysis, but I wanted to share that you're not alone. Hella hairy upper legs and I get hairs on my chin that are super dark and thick. Obviously I could say to not let it bother you and leave it, but that's deff not what I do. I'm super self conscious about it so I wax. I have a Gigi waxer and I use the hard body wax, no strips it just hardens and you rip it off. With waxing you also only have to do it like once a month! That's my fav thing about it. If you go this route make sure you exfoliate like crazy to avoid ingrown hairs - as they are uncomfortable and cause breakouts so bad. I don't wax my lower leg or even most if my upper, just like bikini like and little lower on the inside of the leg where the hair is really dark and grows back hella fast. I also don't wax my actual pubic hair, I have a bikini trimmer. Love the heck out of that thing, I think it looks better with a little hair anyway lol

Hope this helps? I get a couple stay hairs on my neck and I just get them with wax aswell to not have to worry about them very often. Or plucking them out if it's just the one or two strays.

It's a learning curve but waxing is the best, you can also pay to have it done but it's hella expensive compared to just doing it at home

samlamlam OP
about 2 years

thank you for both sharing this, it does help to know I'm not the only one who has these issues. I wish i didn't care but I just do and trying to find ways to manage. I think i'd need to wax every week which is just so expensive and I have like no time. But maybe I should give it a try. I want to accept that my body is worthy enough in its natural state but at the same time I can’t shake that ingrained disgust at myself for not being ‘feminine’ enough if I don’t shave

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about 2 years

I have mild pcos, and I do remove the hair i don't want on my body. At first I felt the same as you, like it was this neverending ordeal and like i was some kind of fuzzy bear. But what helped and still does help me mentally is by making shaving and hair removal a luxury experience.

I use tinkle brand eyebrow razors to shape my eye brows. they have nice colors and I keep them with my skincare. I use fragrance free aloe gel by fruit of the earth afterwards to avoid irritation.

I use a nice razor for shaving my legs (I replace it every week), with a thick lathering shave cream. I use a fragrance free one that's for men.

I rub my legs with mineral oil in the shower when I'm done shaving and apply moisturizing lotion or aloe vera after I dry off.

I use a battery powered beard trimmer with a guard to keep my pubic area short and one length, this isn't super fancy, but it's my favorite method.

I use a battery powered clio electric razor to touch up my chin or any spots I wouldn't use a regular razor on, like on my toes! It's also good for a quick once over if I'm not up to a wet shave on my legs.

So my daily wash up is pretty luxurious with lots of bubbles,lather, and moisturizing.

Now my hair removal feels like it's part of a luxury skincare routine. This mindset shift makes me feel like a bad b*tch.

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about 2 years

Thanks so much for sharing this and loving the tips!

Definatley following this! I'm squeamish about hair removal but my underarm hair grows back super quickly. Like @anyaaza I've got a nice razor for my underarms thats got aloe on it as my skin is quite sensitive.

Leg wise I tend to hibernate lol and only ever do the lower half. I have an epulator but hate it, I've tried wax strips but its very patchy so I've only really been satisfied with the results when I've come and had a professional wax done. Defo the pricey option though!

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about 2 years

have you thought about laser hair removal? It actually works better the darker your hair is and you can buy multipacks of treatments to get discounts. I've found the results last for months. I get a top up session every 2 months now and it doesn't hurt like waxing.

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about 2 years

I know everyone here is telling you about hair removal, but on your question about how to gain confidence?

You have to stop giving a fuck what anyone thinks. Hold your head high and don't listen to your insecurities. That's easier said than done.

If you feel more confident without hair then go for it. But you have a medical condition that you can't help. Even if you didn't have a medical condition, hair is natural.

We're slowly moving away from the pristine barbie doll look. remember when everyone used to completely shave their 😸

times are changing and so are beauty standards. it's a slow process and you're stuck in the middle.

Just do what makes you feel good and happy.

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