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The worst compliment I keep getting

I like to wear body con. I don't care that I have a VBO and I am learning to feel more comfortable and good in myself. I like the style and don't think I should just wear a sack because I'm not a size 2.

So last week i wore a tight fitting dress. Not 'too tight', just figure hugging and I was feeling myself.

I got to the restaurant and one of my friend said 'i wish i could be that confident to wear that'.

I know she meant well but I just hate that as a compliment. It doesn't feel like a compliment at all, telling me i'm confident.

It's like 'wow you're delusional AF if you think you should be wearing that.'

I didn't say anything.

I then had a different friend say they loved me confidence.

Would they say that to a slim person? I doubt it.

Anyone else feel like this is not a compliment at all?

Created: 11 months ago
justkeepswimming
11 months

I know what you mean, but I think it depends on the context. Like it doesn't bother me when it comes from other big-bodied people. Example: I wore a bikini bathing suit this summer and my big-bodied friend said she wished she was confident enough to do the same.

I'm less comfortable when it comes from a person whose body size fits within what society considers acceptable, especially if I don't know the person.

sarahkay12
11 months
I get this a lot too. I find that if I compliment someone on their confidence in wearing an outfit it almost feels like I'm saying..they shouldn't be wearing it? I try to focus on complimenting the clothes/style like "I love that skirt, it looks great!" or "love the suit, such a great color!"
sarahkay12
11 months
It’s like calling a fat person “brave” for wearing/doing something that no one would blink an eye at if a non-fat person wore/did it.
annabelbrown
11 months
"I Love Your Confidence" This is my least favorite line, EVER. You love my confidence of what? My fat body that will never be accepted into ideal society? Yes, I am confident, but because the world has taught me that I need to be in order to be a) happy, and b) accepted. If not confident, I am just another plus size person beating themselves up for being who they are. Do not tell me you love my confidence, because you're (straight size folks) the one who taught me that it's required. I am happy in my body, yes. There's a difference. I know most times people mean well, but it's ALWAYS bothered me. I HATE this line and it is NOT a compliment.
taylorkay223
11 months

i'm ok with it!

It's more of a refleciton of the person saying it than it is on me.

daniellehall
11 months

It's the WORST and so often the other person actually thinks that they are nice when but their words kinda of hurt. I'm working on complimenting people on traits rather than their appearance.

plusbabe
11 months

they mean well but it kinda sucks!

seannak OP
11 months

honestly, I know it's meant to be a compliment but it's just not! I'm glad i'm not the only one who sees this weird ass comment for what it is.

lassstylist
11 months
Well meaning friend BUT- and in my case I add that I am over 50 so you get that side eye like Oh you are so brave to be so fashion forward...
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