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How do you deal with fat phobic comments from your family or friends?

Something @alisastylediary said said on the holiday plans thread: “Not looking forward to comments about my weight” got me thinking. Probably all of us have dealt with fat phobic comments from strangers at some point and while it can hurt you can kinda let it roll off your back because they don’t know you. Right? But with the holidays coming up and family gatherings actually being a thing the mid year ( as long as Covid stays under control) I’m also definitely not looking forward to those snide comments about my weight or judgmental looks when helping my self to some more food. So my question is, how do you deal with fatphobic comments from family members or even friends?
Created: over 2 years ago
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over 2 years
I have always struggled eating in front of people because I’m afraid of comments about how I shouldn’t be eating too much. It happened all my life. I don’t think I cope well, I don’t act myself in family events. There’s always a comment about my weight. Or what I eat.
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over 2 years
It’s unnecessary! Depending on the person they are talking to it can lead to an argument. Family can be the most mean and toxic when it comes to fat phobia.
over 2 years

Since I was a little girl I would always get fat shamed by my mom and relatives on her side. My mom would always comment on how big I am and says degrading things about my body. She comments on the size of my thighs and my arms and other parts of my body in a really negative way. My mom is tiny, and petite and really cares about her own weight.

I'm much taller with broader shoulders, so of course I'm going to be heavier than her. Of course I look bigger than her. No shit. I hated my body for so long because of her and its only recently that I've started to love myself more. I love my mom and she is a great mom with everything else, but she is so toxic to me about weight. I even tried to starve myself at one point.

I try not to take it personally. I'm not usually a sensitive person but the thing is my family just won't shut up about my body size when we get together. Any one would get annoyed. They always ask about my weight.

Last year I said I wouldn't be discussing my weight any more and I didn't want to hear anyone say something. I was firm, calm and controlled. I told them that although they mean well, they actually affect my mental health badly and it's too much to take with the pandemic too. They backed off a lot.

This year, I'm ready for it to start again as i've gained weight this year but I have lots of other conversation starters on hand to hand to change the topic, ready for if a comment comes up. I am also planning to focus the conversation on everyone else, asking lots of questions and being involved.

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daniellehall OP
over 2 years

Absolutley. Thank you everyone for sharing. I totally agree with setting boundaries and having lots of other topics on hand as I don't cope well either. I've always been the quizmaster which is also a great diversion.

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