Ladies, I just wanted to share with you my reason for deciding to stop dating online. I found that because I was completely secure with my body and how I looked throwing yourself in the world of online dating can be a trigger for lowering your self esteem and maybe even falling into a slight depression.
Most of us know that guys will say some of the most disrespectul things to you without any regard to your feelings. Some will just automatically assume you are desperate because you are fat and so you will sleep with them. These are things that have made me feel low even on days when I was feeling very confident.
So I realized that their were certain things I needed to stay away from while I am on my journey of self love and body confidence.
1. Online Dating - You must have awareness of how awesome you are before you go into the lion's den. If you are still on that journey maybe consider doing meet up groups or other things instead of Bumble, Tinder, etc.
2. Friends - If you have friends that constantly talk negatively abou their body that can also be a trigger. I put in so much work into loving my body one day and then hanging out with friends that completely bash their bodies in front of me put me back into that same mentally that I was trying to get out of.
3. Trying on Clothes - This is almost irrelevant because of Covid but back in the day, I would feel so much shame and embarrassement trying on clothes with other women around me. Coming out of the dressing room in a size 20 while there is a girl in a size 4 right next to me always made me uncomfortable. Not knowing if that girl is thinking how fat I am. I promise you nobody cares that much what the girl in the next dressing room looks like. lol But I thought they did. I decided to just order online and try them on in the privacy of my own home. As the stores start to open back up again, I'm sure I won't feel like that anymore but sometimes it's nice to know what will trigger you and to stay away from it until you are in a healthier place.
So that being said, if anyone is struggling with loving their body, gaining confidence and a low amount of self - esteem I say know your triggers. If you really want to work on yourself, you don't need online dating right now anyways. Work on yourself and when you are in a good place those right ones will find you. And if you ready to date online, than go get it! Just put yourself first!
I never knew how triggering shopping in stores was for my body image until the pandemic forced me to shop online only. It's so much more comfortable to try thigns on at home without hearing a size 4 in the dressing room next to me complaining about how she looks fat in a mini dress.
This post is it. It's super important to put yourself first and know your triggers and avoid them. There is no shame in saying no to things that make us feel bad!
Love this @viviansinya