Why Decided To Stop Online Dating

Ladies, I just wanted to share with you my reason for deciding to stop dating online. I found that because I was completely secure with my body and how I looked throwing yourself in the world of online dating can be a trigger for lowering your self esteem and maybe even falling into a slight depression.

Most of us know that guys will say some of the most disrespectul things to you without any regard to your feelings. Some will just automatically assume you are desperate because you are fat and so you will sleep with them. These are things that have made me feel low even on days when I was feeling very confident.

So I realized that their were certain things I needed to stay away from while I am on my journey of self love and body confidence.

1. Online Dating - You must have awareness of how awesome you are before you go into the lion's den. If you are still on that journey maybe consider doing meet up groups or other things instead of Bumble, Tinder, etc.

2. Friends - If you have friends that constantly talk negatively abou their body that can also be a trigger. I put in so much work into loving my body one day and then hanging out with friends that completely bash their bodies in front of me put me back into that same mentally that I was trying to get out of.

3. Trying on Clothes - This is almost irrelevant because of Covid but back in the day, I would feel so much shame and embarrassement trying on clothes with other women around me. Coming out of the dressing room in a size 20 while there is a girl in a size 4 right next to me always made me uncomfortable. Not knowing if that girl is thinking how fat I am. I promise you nobody cares that much what the girl in the next dressing room looks like. lol But I thought they did. I decided to just order online and try them on in the privacy of my own home. As the stores start to open back up again, I'm sure I won't feel like that anymore but sometimes it's nice to know what will trigger you and to stay away from it until you are in a healthier place.

So that being said, if anyone is struggling with loving their body, gaining confidence and a low amount of self - esteem I say know your triggers. If you really want to work on yourself, you don't need online dating right now anyways. Work on yourself and when you are in a good place those right ones will find you. And if you ready to date online, than go get it! Just put yourself first!

Created: 3 months ago
angelikah
3 months

THIS!

I never knew how triggering shopping in stores was for my body image until the pandemic forced me to shop online only. It's so much more comfortable to try thigns on at home without hearing a size 4 in the dressing room next to me complaining about how she looks fat in a mini dress.

This post is it. It's super important to put yourself first and know your triggers and avoid them. There is no shame in saying no to things that make us feel bad!

Love this @viviansinya

sarahkay12
3 months
Guys can be so disrespectful on the apps, it’s wild out there. I am in two minds about online dating because on the one hand it’s like the easiest way to discover people, especially when you’re an introvert like me. But then there’s so many crazies and just nastiness when you’re not interested in someone. I’ve definitely had more negative experiences than positive ones. I just don’t know how I’d meet someone and I’m so ready for a relationship. 😕
alisastylediary
3 months

Same here! I gave up online dating about 2 years ago after tiring of rejection. I have body image issues and depression so I avoid things that make it worse, which online dating 100% did. I do get lonely at times, e.g. family gatherings, but I can handle those times more than I could handle the amount of rejection I faced online dating. I had a friend with benefits but that fizzled and he wasn't someone i'd want as my life partner. Most men my age are married.

notodietculture
3 months

Being a fat chick on dating apps is the WORST because you don’t wanna put up misleading photos, but you also don’t wanna put up something that looks like a “before” shot from a Hydroxycut ad. I also hate it when you do actually go to meet a dude and you watch their face fall when they realize you’re ACTUALLY fat and not just one of those girls who calls herself fat over 5 or 10 vanity pounds.

You definitely DON'T wanna call yourself “chubby” because then you get the BBW fetish dudes (no kinkshaming but I don't want a guy who is into me JUST because he's into fat chicks either), and you don’t wanna say curvy, because then dudes picture like a pinup girl with a flat belly, big hips, and massive tits, and my figure is more like “very husky 13 year old boy,”

If you say you’re fat then they think you have low self-esteem when really you’re just being honest and you actually totally own that you’re not conventionally attractive.

andreathediva
2 months
thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this today!
viviansinya OP
2 months

@sarahkay12 I totally feel you! I want to suggest to you that maybe try meet-ups. Try group activities that include singles like you. Another option is shoot your shot at HOME DEPOT - cuz that's where they at lol.

viviansinya OP
2 months

@alisastylediary - Same here. One day when I am strong enough and when it is the right time I will go back to online dating just to see what's out there. I've had the same fwb situation and I just ended it on the account of it being a low self esteem trigger. I feel that loneliness sometimes too but I don't want us to officially give up on dating because we (humans) are not meant to be alone all the time but I am hopeful that their are better ways to meet people that love plus size women like us. We just might have to search a little harder than most but I do believe they are out there. #stayinghopeful

viviansinya OP
2 months

@notodietculture omg PREACH!!!!! lol

viviansinya OP
2 months

Someone should come up with a respectable plus size dating app.

viviansinya OP
2 months

@andreathediva you're very welcome!🌝

viviansinya OP
2 months

@angelikah Exactly! There's a lot of power in saying NO.

sarahkay12
2 months

*heads to home depot* 😂

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