Found out I weigh more than my boyfriend

did he ask you how much you weigh?? what was his reaction?

not exactly. we both decided this week we want to lose some weight, and he told me his starting weight. I haven't even told him how much I weigh because i'm so embarrassed honestly.

ok so it sounds like he's not pressuring you or trying to make you feel bad. I think this might bother you more than him, because we've been conditioned to think women should be small and petite and thin, so being bigger or taller or wider than a man is 'not feminine'.

it's bullshit.

there's no rule that you should weigh less than him.

I weigh 30 pounds more than my husband, and we have a pretty good height difference between us.

The weight difference has never been an issue for either of us. We just love each other for who we are 🤗

I've always weighed more than my boyfriends or even hookups. female bodies just hold onto more fat and I think its pretty common that we weigh more, or have more body fat than men.

As cliche as it sounds, weight is just a number.

I use to feel bad about being the fat girlfriend. My bf is pretty skinny compared to me and in the beginning I was in disbelief he want to date me. but we've been together 4 years now and he never mentions my weight even though i've gained 30lbs in the last year.

this is so comforting. thank you. where was this comment section where i was 14 and crying because i never thought i would be able to get a boyfriend 😭

My husband is 8 inches taller than me and 160 pounds lighter. Not only does he not care, he loves my body. More than I do most of the time.

there's no such thing as a normal weight difference between couples.

I hope you can come to peace with this. As you can see in the comments, this is fairly common, and not something to be ashamed of. Like you say, he hasn't asked you about your weight and doesn't seem to care.

And if he did care? Then that is a him problem and not a you problem! We sadly live in a culture with gender norms that are placed on body sizes for women vs men. That sadness you feel is a result of societal expectations, there's nothing wrong with you!

I weigh at least 20 pounds more than my fiance and he is a foot taller than me. It is a big difference. It does kinda bother me but it doesn't seem to bother him. He loves me the way I am, so i'm trying to do the same.

My husband is 6’1 and 165-170lb. I’m 5’4 and quite a bit heavier than him. My self esteem is pretty trash but I’ve been heavier than him since I met him and he still seems to like me. 🤔

I have struggled with this too on and off. It's because being bigger than our male partners goes against the dainty/girlish beauty standard, be it taller, fatter, buffer. It's a dynamic barely shown in media other than as a comedy bit or a fetish, qnd that's without getting into the racism behind it. But we are just normal people with normal bodies.

Why don't you have a heart to heart about it with your boyfriend and tell him what you're feeling? You don't need to hide. Hopefully it will help you not care so much. It's hard, it sucks, but it's doable.

reading all your comments is making me feel so much better. i do struggle with confidence and maybe i should just talk to him, but i'm scared of his reaction still. i need to stop caring so much! we have a great relationship otherwise, he's never made me feel bad about my weight. but we did decide to lose weight together this year.

I've always weighed more than my SOs. It's ok!

you're attaching a lot of shame to you weight, which is an unfortunate by-product of our diet obsessed society. the fact you weigh more than him wasn't even an issue before you knew the number. don't go off the scales, go off how you both feel about each other. that's the most important thing

this comment section is it. don't place pressure on yourself that is from some dumb society ideal that women should be small and petite to be beautiful. it doesn't matter if you weigh more than him, what matters is the love between you and that he treats you right - no matter what your size is. 💯

thank you everyone

I would also be self conscious of this. it's comforting to know lots of others in this thread weigh more than their SOs, but it's hard to accept as well i think.