My partner is triggering my binge eating and I don't know what to do

Hi everyone.

I’ve never posted in here before but been a long time reader and I have found so much about this space to be helpful.

I’ve been with my partner for 2 years now. For context, he is a thin cisgender man and I am a fat cisgender woman.

I’ve been going to a therapist in the last 6 months to work on my binge eating, which has always been something I struggled with, but especially since covid. I am really hopeful about my progress so far but it’s definitely hard..

My partner can eat whatever he wants and never put on an ounce of fat. He just doesn't gain weight ever, in fact he struggles to stay at his weight but eats so much.

And it triggers me. He can eat candy and popcorn and have 5 meals a day, whereas i'm trying to 'not restrict myself' but also control myself around food.

I don’t want to make him feel weird about his own eating habits or even call attention to them because I know how that’s felt for me with people.

Thanks for reading 💛

Created: 2 months ago
sadieloves
2 months

i'm sorry it's triggering you, that's really hard.

Try not to worry about his eating. I am overweight and my husband isn't. We try to eat dinner together but other meals not so much, just be casual.

tamaraoryx
2 months

Recovering bulimic here.

You know it's on you to manage your triggers. That takes time and patience. When you struggle, stop the thoughts and correct them. Be mindful of how you feel.

This will give you more room to navigate your discomfort. Over time the bullying inner voice might vanish completely. Mine pops up once in a while but it's not constant. Food is food.

I hope this helps but if you don't succeed today you can try again tomorrow.

Navigating triggers is hard work and takes work every day. You need to be able to communicate with your partner on this. That doesn't mean you do it alone. It also can come after going over the healthy ways with someone such as your therapist. Make a script. Make a plan.

notodietculture
2 months

have you spoken to your therapist about this? is it being around the food and constant eating that triggers you, or is he doing anything else to trigger you?

stylingmycurves OP
2 months

thank you. I know it's really on me, but it's also hard to be around someone constantly eating the food that I really want to eat but need to avoid.

I have spoken with my therapist, she has encouraged me to practice mindfulness and meditate more. But it's a process honestly. some days are better than others.

I just want to be normal around food.

notodietculture
2 months

i'm sorry you're going through this.

I think practising mindful eating is very powerful. Try to have no distractions while eating so you have the change to smell, taste and appreciate your food. Don't have your phone on the table for example.

Take smaller bites and try to eat slower as this will make you feel fuller. Make sure you're not restricting yourself too much, so you don't get the urge to binge.

Make sure you don't label food as 'good' or 'bad'.

missmelb_plus
2 months
I think some very wise words were already spoken here so I won’t try to add much to them but just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone….sending hugs and prayers
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